Sounds Of The Season

My latest in the American News concerns the lows and highs of Christmas music:

Christmastime means Christmas music. Some of the most beautiful songs are Christmas songs, but there are some real stinkers, too.

At the risk of losing readers straight off, let's start with the bad. Take “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” I realize repetition is the purpose of the song, but hearing that annoying melody and those silly lyrics over and over is enough to turn the jolliest soul into a Scrooge. This song is basically the Christmas version of “Ninety-Nine Bottles of Beer On the Wall.” And right around the 93rd beer or the seventh swan-a-swimming you are poking out your ear drums for sweet relief.

Many people like “Carol of the Bells,” aka “Ring Christmas Bells.” I suppose it might just be me, but every time I hear this song I think of Tony Perkins stabbing Janet Leigh in Alfred Hitchcock's "Psycho." Not exactly a Christmas image. There is a popular version of this song by Manheim Steamroller. Hard as it is to believe, “Carol of the Bells” on synthesizer is no better.

A lot of contemporary Christian singers naturally do Christmas albums. I find these a bit tough to take. When they do the classics they tend to remake them into pop songs, to make them more “relevant” to the younger generation I suppose. But I don't need my Christmas music to be hip. It is hard for music, or anything else, to tie generations together and evoke deep meaning if we are constantly reinventing it for each new trend.

Let's move on to the good stuff. I realize that anyone under the age of 60 expressing a fondness for Perry Como is a little like announcing you're a virgin in a whorehouse, but there it is. He has a particularly good version of “Little Drummer Boy,” a superior song by any measure. A singable melody with a touching lyric. The song has a good message: Christ will smile on the poorest of us, no matter how modest our gifts.

How can one not like Bing Crosby's “White Christmas”? This tune meets the acid test of songs: You can hum it while doing the dishes. Released during World War II, it is one of the biggest selling records ever. More evidence there is a God. The classic “Sleigh Ride” is a fine song, especially as done by Johnny Mathis. It is a perfect match of melody, lyric and a rhythm that evokes an actual sleigh ride. Incidentally, the lyrics of the song are by Mitchell Parish, who also wrote “Stardust.” Not bad.

There are lots of great Christmas recordings. A rare contemporary recording of note is Jewel's excellent rendition of the beautiful “Oh Holy Night.” Dean Martin sings a swinging “Blue Christmas.” Country crooners Jim Reeves and Eddy Arnold give gentle readings of “Silent Night” and “Jolly Old St. Nicholas” respectively. Bing Crosby also does a fine “O Come All Ye Faithful,” Latin lyrics and all.

There is not enough space to discuss all the great recordings. What makes a superior Christmas song? A hummable melody simply articulated by a gentle but strong voice; lyrics that evoke the season and spark memories of Christmases past. Some songs elegantly evoke the religious meaning of the holiday, while others awaken the child in all of us. Match these with a tasteful arrangement, and you've got a great Christmas song.

And the less said about “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer” the better.