If you have twenty-one odds and ends sitting on a shelf, and twenty fall off, what've you got left: an odd or an end? That is one of my favorite jokes. I know it comes from George Carlin, and I'm pretty sure it was in his HBO special, back in the late seventies. I watched that show sitting on a pillow on the floor of an apartment just off of Arkansas State University. I started laughing the minute Carlin walked on stage. I haven't ever really stopped.
Carlin was a comic poet of enormous talent. It is fair to say, in this obituary, that he fell short of the first order. When American popular culture went hippie, so did he; and it would be a long time until he turned his biting humor against popular culture. I suspect that nothing made drugs easier to try, at least for middle class youths like myself, than someone who made them funny. He made them very funny. I still remember this one, sort of.
Want to have an experience? Don't eat for three days. Smoke three joints. Then GO TO THE SUPERMARKEEET!
He illustrated that last line by pretending to push a cart while plucking items off shelves as fast as his arms would work. And there is this:
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
That said, Carlin did maintain moral authority on language and concepts.
Consider the words flammable, inflammable, and nonflammable. Two words ought to be able to handle this concept. After, the thing either flams or it doesn't.
No one ever knows for sure what a deserted area looks like.
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
And he was equally good at getting at the conceits behind ordinary sentiments.
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
But he was best at making ordinary life look surprising.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
Honesty may be the best policy, but then by elimination, dishonesty is the second best policy.
Goodbye George.
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