Don't Drink The Water

I am waiting for the announcement that this is a joke.  Please.

Two signs on the doors leading from the visitors' clubhouse at U.S. Cellular Field to the first-base dugout read, "NO BOTTLED WATER ON THE BENCH."

What's this? Athletes can't drink water? Even in the humid Chicago summers?

Here's the explanation I got:

Gatorade is Major League Baseball's "official sports drink." So instructions were sent that no player could be seen drinking anything but Gatorade in the dugout. Not even Aquafina, which is the "official water" of MLB. Not even bottles of water with the labels removed.

White Sox clubhouse personnel said if players take bottled water onto the bench, all the bottled water will be removed from the clubhouse as punishment.

So remember, the biggest threat to baseball isn't steroids or HGH or amphetamines or runaway ticket prices or four-hour games.

It's water.

HT Mark Hemingway.