Hands Off the Gay Sheep?

File under "News You Can Ewes."

Science told: hands off gay sheep

That's the London Times headline, I kid you not.  How exactly was "science" handling the gay sheep, you ask?  Well:

SCIENTISTS are conducting experiments to change the sexuality of “gay” sheep in a programme that critics fear could pave the way for breeding out homosexuality in humans.

The technique being developed by American researchers adjusts the hormonal balance in the brains of homosexual rams so that they are more inclined to mate with ewes.

Actually I can think of certain rural counties in Arkansas, my home state, where this stuff should be sprayed like agent orange.  Or at least that what the sign comming in from Memphis once implied: Welcome to Arkansas, it read, where men are men and sheep are nervous. 

But apparently one expert spokeswoman thinks the Oregon project is a really baaaad idea. 

The research, at Oregon State University in the city of Corvallis and at the Oregon Health and Science University in Portland, has caused an outcry. Martina Navratilova, the lesbian tennis player who won Wimbledon nine times, and scientists and gay rights campaigners in Britain have called for the project to be abandoned.

Navratilova defended the “right” of sheep to be gay. She said: “How can it be that in the year 2006 a major university would host such homophobic and cruel experiments?” She said gay men and lesbians would be “deeply offended” by the social implications of the tests.

It turns out that, to the herders dismay,  a lot of his rams have been listening to Abba. 

Approximately one ram in 10 prefers to mount other rams rather than mate with ewes, reducing its value to a farmer. Initially, the publicly funded project aimed to improve the productivity of herds.

I'm sorry, but this isn't a story; it's a farm joke.  It seems a bit odd to me to be worrying about the sexual freedom of a species that is frequently bred for slaughter.  We probably ought to consider the ethical implications of such a therapy for human beings well before Larry King starts pushing it on radio adds, but whatever they are, they surely don't apply to lamb chops.