Headlines Worth Noting, Holiday Edition

After the fact?

Ex-KGB Spy Blames Putin for this Death.

It is, after all, only a toy newspaper. 

Man With Toy Gun Disrupts Miami Herald

It was a good weekend to be elsewhere.  But that's every weekend in Jersey.

Turkeys Try for Fast Train Out of New Jersey. 

The turkeys had no time to lose.

Man Eats 4.8 Pounds of Turkey in 12 Minutes.

How long was the bomb?

PHILADELPHIA - A man who mailed a bomb to a doctor because he was angry about how his penis enlargement surgery turned out was sentenced Tuesday to four years and 10 months in prison.

Just when we needed someone to restrain us.

Go Ahead, call your friend "meathead"