Here’s a blow by blow account of the State of the Union. I have chosen to watch NBC, mostly because I admire Brian Williams’ hair and Tim Russert’s ego. OK, let's be honest. It's because I don't have cable so I can't watch Fox News.
8:03: Poor Steven Breyer. He is a very lonely Supreme Court justice.
8:04: The Cabinet enters. Tim Russert once again speaks out in favor the wise Republicans who disagree with the President on Social Security. That’s the MSMs definition of wise Republicans: Republicans who disagree with George Bush.
8:06: I really curse Woodrow Wilson for making the SOTU into such a pageant. Oh for the days when presidents just sent a letter to Congress.
8:07: Nancy Pelosi left her broom at home, I see.
8:08: Russert can’t help but bring up Tom Delay, or as the MSM knows him, Satan.
8:09: Please, Lord, make this a short speech! Chip Reid of NBC says the Democrats are holding a press conference at the FDR memorial tomorrow to demagogue Social Security. It’s nice to see that the Democrats are looking into the future. Where was that bridge that Bill Clinton was building?
8:10: A free and sovereign Iraq. Take that, John "let’s not overhype" Kerry!
8:11: You know, Cheney and Hastert are not exactly among the beautiful people.
8:12: George Bush is concerned about the next generation, not the next election. Now that he is doing what we keep saying we want our politicians to do, he’s gonna get ripped by the Democrats.
8:14: Bush normally wears a blue tie for big occasions, but I notice he is wearing the solid red power tie. Oh, most of Congress is saying, "I hope he’s not serious about that spending discipline stuff." Don’t worry guys, he probably isn’t
8:15: For the first time in two years, John Kerry has forgotten to comb his hair. I am confused. What is a "Ha School"? This Midwesterner can’t figure it out.
8:17: Exactly how does the federal government make health care more affordable? I think that "spending discipline" just died. Did someone just applaud community health centers? Man, pork is alive and well in Congress.
8:18: OK, people like to applaud at SOTU speeches. But this is ridiculous. They just applauded Bush exhaling.
8:20: Why do the military guys even show up to this thing? When did that practice start? They just sit there like lumps, as I suppose they must. But what purpose do they serve? Tax reform!! I just did my taxes last weekend and had it reaffirmed in my mind why I generally (but not always) vote Republican.
8:21: I quote Sonny Bono: "What’s there to say about illegal immigration? It’s illegal." Shoulda ducked that tree, Sonny. Gulp! Here comes the Social Security bit. Let’s watch the Democrats purse their lips.
8:23: Someone just applauded Social Security insolvency. From the groans on the Democratic side, I assume they all ate Mexican tonight.
8:25: Bush to Democrats: Quit being so shortsighted, you twits.
8:26: Bush cites Penny, Clinton, Breaux, and Moynihan on Social Security. Democrats all. Too bad Moynihan isn’t around to talk some sense on this issue.
8:28: Bush rules out payroll taxes. Foolish to take this completely off the table, in my opinion. Ah, "Voluntary Personal Retirement Accounts." How many focus groups did that take?
8:30: "The money in the account is yours and the government can never take it away." Amen! Now that’s the ownership society. Bush also suggests all sorts of limits to the accounts to ease the minds of those who are overly concerned about "security."
8:32: Orin Hatch looks asleep. I don’t entirely blame him. Ah, the Federal Marriage Amendment. Boob bait for the bubbas, Moynihan would say. This bubba takes the bait.
8:34: Bush talks like there is intrinsic value to human life. Where’d he get that idea? Bush just winked at Breyer. "Need some wood?"
8:35: What is it about Joe Biden that always makes him look like an arrogant jerk? It’s too bad, because he is one of smart and fairly reasonable Democrats.
8:36: Laura Bush is leading the fight against gangs. Now they’re afraid.
8:38: How about a culture of life where the state does not kill its own citizens with this thing called the death penalty?
8:39: Bush is framing the speech nicely. Part One: The Economy. Part Two: Values. Part Three: National Defense. And saves his strongest (and the most important) argument for last.
8:41: Thank you Congress for supporting our troops. Except you Kerry. You voted "No" on that one. And you Senator Edwards…oh, never mind.
8:43: When did it become conservative to talk about the root causes of terrorism? I can think of something just as strong as human freedom to set back the forces of terror: nukes! Admittedly, democracy kills fewer people.
8:44: I think Bush just tied the Democratic Party intellectually to Zarqawi. Hey, let’s be honest, we do want to impose our view of government, because our view is better than totalitarianism.
8:46: Bush is really relaxed tonight. Looking and sounding good. Wow, thank God Arafat is dead. Maybe we can actually do something about Israel/Palestine. Wait. It looks like we are giving $300 million for the PA to steal. Lucky for us we are rich and can afford to give away money to corrupt Palestinian officials.
8:48: Wouldn’t want to be the younger Mubarak right now. I think he just got called out, as the kids say. Ack! Look out Syria. You’re next.
8:49: NBC: Speaking of Iran, let’s show a picture of Tom Delay. AMERICA STANDS WITH THE PEOPLE OF IRAN!! Get it Euro-weenies! We don’t stand with corrupt dictators in the name of "stability."
8:50: Chris Dodd and Barak Obama don’t applaud the fighting of terrorists. Maybe because, as Ted Kennedy knows, Obama’s real name is Osama Bin Laden. Bobby Jindahl has that purple finger. I guess he really is an LSU fan.
8:52: The Iraqis have earned the respect of us all. Except Barbara Boxer who is busy yacking with someone else. I think the Iraqi woman is trying to flip off Boxer, but is unsure which finger to use. Ahh, cultural differences.
8:54: Hey, South Dakota’s own Tim Johnson is sitting next to John Kerry. Now there’s a night club act in the making! Personality to spare. When will our troops come home? When we’re done with the job.
8:58: I really hope he’s almost done. I think the point has been made, even if it is a good point. We need to honor our troops.
8:59: Every year we should give the Nobel Peace Prize to the US Marine Corps. They do more than any other group in the world to ensure world peace. Nice touch with the Iraqi woman hugging the fallen Marine’s mom. Just a moment, I think I just got something in my eye.
9:03: The road leads to freedom. I pray it is so. Brian Williams counted the number of times the president was interrupted by applause. Hey, insightful comment. I am going to stop watching because the room is not big enough for me and Russert’s ego.
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