Thune Gets Seat on Ag & Commerce Committees

From the Yankton Press & Dakotan:

Sen. John Thune, R-S.D., will sit on the Senate Agriculture and Commerce committees when Congress reconvenes in January.

Thune moves to the agriculture panel in time to help craft comprehensive farm legislation next year. South Dakota has not had a member on the committee since Democratic Senate Leader Tom Daschle, D-S.D., lost re-election to Thune in 2004.

The commerce panel is also a plum assignment. That committee oversees aviation, railroads, telecommunications, science, space and consumer affairs, among other issues.

While gaining those seats, Thune will leave the Environment and Public Works and Veterans Affairs Committees. He will keep his seats on the Armed Services and Small Business panels.

"Sen. Thune is pleased to have secured seats on these powerful committees that are important to South Dakota farmers, families, small businesses and military personnel," said Thune spokesman Kyle Downey.

Thune is currently traveling in Iraq and the Middle East.

Farm bill negotiations are expected to take up much of next year, as the last six-year farm bill is scheduled to expire. Downey said Thune's new seat "will allow him to have a voice for South Dakota farmers and ranchers during the upcoming farm bill."

Democrat Tom Harkin of Iowa will take over the panel when Democrats become the Senate majority in January.

Page Execution Timetable Set

Argus Leader:

A judge set a new execution timetable for South Dakota death row inmate Elijah Page, the convicted murderer whose planned execution earlier this year was delayed by Gov. Mike Rounds within hours of being carried out.

In an order directed to the sheriff of Lawrence County and the warden of the state penitentiary in Sioux Falls, Circuit Judge Warren Johnson on Friday set the execution for the week of July 9, 2007.

The South Dakota State Penitentiary warden has leeway to choose the day and time of the execution that week, according to law.

Rounds' stay expires July 1. The appointment of a new execution week is essentially an automatic action after that, Lawrence County state's attorney John Fitzgerald said.

The Reason for Concern about Stem Cell Research

The following story does not indicate that we should not use stem cells in medical research.  It does indicate that there are reasons for concern, and that regulations are necessary.  From the BBC:

Healthy new-born babies may have been killed in Ukraine to feed a flourishing international trade in stem cells, evidence obtained by the BBC suggests.

Disturbing video footage of post-mortem examinations on dismembered tiny bodies raises serious questions about what happened to them.

Ukraine has become the self-styled stem cell capital of the world.

There is a trade in stem cells from aborted foetuses, amid unproven claims they can help fight many diseases.

But now there are claims that stem cells are also being harvested from live babies.

I have thought that the Bush policy on Federal funding for stem cell research was too restrictive.  But critics of the Administration often act as if anyone who wants any limits is some kind of fanatic. The BBC story, if true, is about an atrocity.  Anything that can reasonably be done to stop that traffic should be done. 

Jiminy Cricket On Palestine

This from the Boston Globe on Jimmy Carter's latest madcap escapades. 

HARRY TRUMAN famously said that if you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen. By refusing Brandeis's invitation to take part in a debate about his new book, "Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid," former president Jimmy Carter is saying that he can't take the heat -- after giving his book a controversial title and boasting of a desire to be provocative.

WaPo on SD Political Turbulence

Chris Cillizza and Charles Babington of the Washington Post have an interesting piece today entitled "In S. Dakota, a History of Political Turbulence."  Be sure to give it a read.

Karl Mundt

The Wall Street Journal today talks about former Senator Karl Mundt, who suffered similar circumstances that Senator Johnson is facing:

Senate history is peppered with examples of senators staying away for months because of illness or surgery. Republican Sen. Karl Mundt, also of South Dakota, stopped appearing in the Senate after being disabled by a stroke in 1969, but he remained in office until his term expired in 1972.

Mr. Mundt's chief of staff, Robert McCaughey, ran the office, and recalled in an interview yesterday that he couldn't vote or speak for Mr. Mundt at committee meetings. But he briefed Mr. Mundt nearly every day as the senator sat in an easy chair in his home two blocks from the office. Mr. Mundt could speak haltingly and followed Senate business, but didn't always understand conversation, Mr. McCaughey said.

He said he wanted Mr. Mundt, a longtime friend and employer, to resign his seat, but faced opposition from Mrs. Mundt. "He wasn't able to carry out his duties," said Mr. McCaughey. "I felt he was taking a voice from the people of South Dakota." At one point, South Dakota's Republican governor -- fearing a loss of the governorship to a Democrat in 1970 -- pleaded personally with Mr. Mundt to resign. "He didn't seem to understand that he should resign," Mr. McCaughey said.

If Mr. Johnson is succeeded by a Republican, the Senate would be split 50-50, much as it was after the 2000 elections when the two parties had to work out a historic power-sharing relationship. With Vice President Dick Cheney available to break any tie, Republicans retained the majority and chairmanships. But many of the committees were split evenly and special deference was given to the Democratic leadership to make a motion to call up legislation.

Again, it is far to early to start speculating about the politics until we know what Senator Johnson decides to do.  It is my sincere hope that he can resume his seat in the Senate and continue his political career for as long as he wishes.  Also, please keep an eye on Todd Epp's website, who has been exhaustively covering the situation.

A Nice Photo of South Dakota's Senatorial Delegation

From the New York Times:

Paranoia on the Left?

Well a little bit, but not so much.  Chuck Raasch, political editor for Gannett News Service, notes that some Kossacks seem to seriously suspect that Senator Johnson was poisoned (hat tip to Todd Epp).  Here is a typical sample:

Remember how somebody sent Daschle anthrax? Some other whack-o joked about sending it to Olbermann?

I just don't like the sounds of this. It seems all to plausible that some nut-job just couldn't tolerate the thought of the dems controlling both houses of Congress for the next two years (at least) and decided that SD needed to sacrifice its senator for the cause.

Get well soon, Senator Johnson. Hopefully it isn't another homegrown "terrorist" who happens to support Bush's agenda.

And this:

Tom Daschle and Patrick Leahy were attempted murder victims as standing senators.  The perpetrators walk freely to this day.  That ain't no Vince Foster bullshit.  Dangerous times require cynical imaginations.  Show me the facts on Sen. Johnson's illness, and I'll be satisfied.  Until then...

The latter suggests a principle: Republicans (but only Republicans) are guilty of high crimes until proven innocent, which of course will never happen.  Some of these folks also think that Paul Welstone was murdered.

But all this proves is that there are a lot of lunatics on the left as well as on the right.  And in fact these posts hardly characterize the consensus at the Daily Kos.  The full mooners were met with more than their share of replies like this one:

it must've been earwigs.  [rolls eyes]  Cigar=Cigar, that's all.

And this:

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. Don't try and cover your claim up using a question mark.
These comments make us all look stupid; if you want to blindly speculate, there's plenty of 9/11 conspiracy forums out there.

On the whole, the Kossachs seem to consist of a lot of more or less reasonable folks struggling with a significant but still small minority of wing nuts.  That is about as good and bad as things tend to be in American politics, and better than politics goes in most places.

A kind note on Senator Johnson

SDP received this note from a woman who obviously still considers South Dakota her home.

I am a native South Dakotan who sadly does not now reside in my home state.  I apologize that I am probably on the wrong site, but do want to express my hopes and prayers for Senator Johnson and his family .

Being a brain anurysem surviver (please excuse my spelling) I and my family know some of what Senator Johnson and his family are going  through now and want to let them know that they will remain in our hopes and prayers. 

There is a long road ahead of the senator and his family, but faith and prayer will see them through as it did and does my family. 

I am proud to be a South Dakotan and wish the senator and his family a speedy recovery and Blessed Holiday Season.

 

Sincerely,

 

Mrs Robert (Sherry)Breckenridge and family

 

from Rapid City, South Dakota   presently residing in Colorado Springs, Colorado

Our site will do just fine, Mrs. Breckenridge.  God bless you and your family. 

Another SD Scandal

SDWC:  New Scandal Brewing

Looks like Scott Heiderpriem will have another big mess on his hands.  And again, the story was broken by one of the best political bloggers in South Dakota.  The Democrats aren't off to a great start with Sutton/Engels/Kloucek.

The Only "Weekend At Bernie's" Reference I Will Ever Make Here

I see Jason's reference to the idiot Joy Behar, and raise him a Michael Medved.  Medved comes on after Dennis Prager on KRLA out of Los Angeles.  Being a semi-faithful Prager listener on KRLA's web site, I sometimes catch the beginning of Medved.  I then remember he is a screaming hack and listen to something on Live 365. Today Medved started by talking about "the biggest threat to America."  It was a lead in to some story about Barney Frank.  Medved said "You might think the biggest threat to America is the Democratic Congress."  He then referenced the Johnson situation, pontificating that the Democrats might keep him around like in "Weekend at Bernie's" just to keep their majority.  Class.  Total class.  The only thing dumber than Michael Medved is "Weekend at Bernie's."

Talk About Death By Chocolate!

From Fox News (hat tip, NRO):

Abdel-Rahman's alleged last will, read at an Al Qaeda news conference eight years ago, called for reprisals should he die in an American jail.

 

"My Brothers ... if [the Americans] kill me, which they will certainly do — hold my funeral and send my corpse to my family, but do not let my blood be shed in vain," the will read. "Rather, extract the most violent revenge, and remember your brother who spoke the truth and died for the will of God ... the Mujahid Sheikh Omar Abdel al Rahman. In the name of God the kind and merciful."

 

Abdel-Rahman was convicted of plotting to blow up the United Nations Headquarters, a federal building, two tunnels and a bridge in Manhattan.

 

In 2004, Abdel-Rahman tried to sabotage his health, consuming M&Ms to exacerbate his diabetes.

Behar: Was Johnson's Stroke "Man-Made"?

Speaking of The View, Joy Behar wonders if Tim Johnson's stroke was "man-made."  I was mad that the media instantly politicized his illness by worrying about the balance in Congress before worrying about his health, but this is stepping well over the line.

Behar - "Is there such a thing as a man-made stroke? In other words, did someone do this to him?"  [Audience laughter]

It's Still 2006

I have been reading various items on the 2008 presidential race, such as whether McCain is more popular than Giuliani or Obama more than Clinton.  I recall the wise words of Harry Jaffa: The campaign will be determined by events which have yet to occur.  This just means that campaigns matter.  It is a bit foolish to argue over the 2008 election when we are 21 months away from the election and no one has yet to do any campaigning. 

Hitchens Is Right About Rosie

The problem with Rosie O'Donnell is not that she's a racist.  She just isn't that funny. (See Christopher Hitchens for opinions, right or wrong, about female sense of humor). 

Ready Or Not...

Here they come.  A national group may be targeting South Dakota, among other states, for the "Civil Rights Initiative" that removes all racial preferences from state government. 

Ward Connerly plans to sponsor anti-preference ballot initiatives in two to five states in 2008, out of a field of nine possible states, the Chronicle of Higher Education reports.  The candidates are Arizona, Colorado, Missouri, Nebraska, Nevada, Oregon, South Dakota, Utah, and Wyoming.  Connerly says his goal is to stage the equivalent of a “Super Tuesday” on affirmative action, “to demonstrate beyond doubt that race preferences are antithetical to the popular will of the American people.”   You can help Connerly build up his warchest for these battles by donating to the American Civil Rights Coalition or the American Civil Rights Institute.

Reservation Economy

South Dakota Magazine:

Elsie Meeks has tried to establish an independent, entrepreneurial spirit on the Indian reservations of America for 20 years — and she’s had more success than most Indian leaders but even her patience seems to have limits, judging from a “no holds barred” commentary in Indian Country Today.

Elsie believes the answer to many of the problems on the rez is more opportunity through small business development. But, frustrated by the lack of progress, she declares, “I don’t think we really want to change …. and those who do want change aren’t in the least equipped to do it … not many people are.”

She said the “blame game” hasn’t worked, so it’s time for everybody to quit pointing fingers at the feds, the state and tribal leaders. She says the goal must be self-sufficiency and an end to dependency – not an insistence that treaties be honored. Treaties should be honored, she said, but waiting for that to happen is not enough.

Obviously, Elsie Meeks has always ranked high in our estimation. She’s a rare leader. She’d much rather be at home on a horse on the ranch she and her husband, Jim, run by Interior. Instead she jets around the nation, trying to establish capitalism in some of America’s poorest communities.

These are the words of a very smart woman who has devoted 20 years to a quite thankless task. If you have any interest in improving life on the reservations I hope you’ll read them because I’m sure they were hard for Elsie Meeks to write. She prefers rowing to making waves, but she can do either.

Here is the link.

Self-sufficiency is something I've thought the reservations needed to work on, and it's my hope for the residents of reservations that people like Elsie Meeks will succeed.  Blame it on my conservative sympathies, but I think government dependency is a bad idea.  I realize the issues on the reservation are probably far deeper and more complex than the story lets on, but I think Mrs. Meeks is going in the right direction. 

Johnson Update Thursday Afternoon

The New York Times has this information about Senator Johnson's hospitalization:

According to statements from his office, Mr. Johnson, who will turn 60 on Dec. 28, became disoriented during a conference call with reporters on Wednesday morning. He stuttered, then seemed to recover before asking if there were more questions and ending the call.

He then walked back to his office, where he collapsed.

That last bit was not released yesterday.  I assume that the Senator's family controls the release of information at this point, which is as it should be.  I don't envy them the decisions they have to make. 

Almost all the news stories mention the 51/49 balance in the Senate.  Time.Com has the best follow up.

The incapacitation of South Dakota Senator Tim Johnson has put all eyes in Washington on what is normally a little-noticed Senate vote now scheduled for Jan. 4. It is called the "organizing resolution," and is the bit of internal housekeeping that determines how committee memberships will be allotted between the two parties, as well as who will get to serve as chairman and ranking members of each of the panels. These resolutions traditionally stand until the next Congress, even if the makeup of the chamber shifts to put the other party in the majority, which is why precedent would seem to dictate that the Chamber would stay in Democratic hands, even if Johnson is replaced by a Republican.

If there is still any real question about Senator Johnson returning to work, it will have an impact on the January 4th meeting. 

It now looks highly unlikely that [Senator Johnson] will healthy by Jan. 4. With Johnson unable to vote, Democrats still have enough to prevail, with 50 votes (including the two independent Senators, Joe Lieberman of Connecticut and Bernie Sanders of Vermont) to 49 for the Republicans.

But Democrats now fear the real possibility that Republicans will filibuster that resolution. They could insist — just as the Democrats did after the 2000 election that left the chamber evenly split, with Vice President Dick Cheney as the tie-breaker — on an "out clause" that stipulates that control of the chamber goes to them if they somehow manage to achieve a majority during the course of the session. As both sides remember, that clause came in handy for the Democrats a few months later, when Vermont's Jim Jeffords abruptly declared himself an independent and gave the Democrats a one-vote majority.

Johnson's family says that the next 24 hours will be critical.  Both parties in South Dakota have expressed their best wishes for the Senator and his family. 

Regents Approve USD D-1 Move

From the USD student newspaper Volante:

The South Dakota Board of Regents unanimously supported the University of South Dakota's planned move to Divison IAA in football and IA in all other sports Thursday.

USD will compete in the North Central Conference through the 2007-2008 season, although it will be an exploratory year as the university searches for a conference and extra funds to support the expected $2 million increase in the Athletic Department's budget annually.

The regents' 9-0 vote carried the same stipulations put on South Dakota State University four years ago when it made the same switch from Division II to Division I.

Those requirements apply to things like scholarships, joining an athletic conference and finding the money for the estimated $2 million more it will cost at the DI level.

Support for intercollegiate athletics from the student general activity fee may only increase at the annual rate of inflation set by the regents, and state general fund dollars for salaries, benefits, or operational expenses may only increase at rates equivalent to what is otherwise appropriated for the universities' base budgets, the regents said in a statement.

"This provision limits increases in student fees and state funding to the regular, ongoing costs of operating the institutions, regardless of athletic classification," said Regents President Harvey Jewett.

No one spoke out against the move when the regents held a public hearing on it Monday.

Johnson Update

This from Keloland:

Democratic US Senator Tim Johnson is in critical condition this morning after brain surgery.

The senator was taken to George Washington University Hospital in Washington Wednesday after suffering bleeding in the brain.

A person familiar with Johnson's medical history says he has an underlying condition that caused those symptoms and doctors will be watching him closely for the next day or two.

The attending physician at the US Capitol says Johnson had intra-cerebral bleeding and the surgery was successful.

Johnson is reported to be recovering without complications. He was taken to the hospital after suffering stroke-like symptoms.

A statement from Admiral John Eisold, attending physician of the United States Capitol, about the condition of Senator Tim Johnson:

"Subsequent to his admission to George Washington University Hospital yesterday, Senator Tim Johnson was found to have had an intracerebral bleed caused by a congenital arteriovenous malformation. He underwent successful surgery to evacuate the blood and stabilize the malformation. The Senator is recovering without complication in the critical care unit at George Washington University Hospital. It is premature to determine whether further surgery will be required or to assess any long term prognosis."

The senator's wife, Barbara, says the family "is encouraged  and optimistic" that he will recover.

Todd Epp is running constant updates from lots of sources on Senator Johnson's condition.  If you are following this closely, check there. 

 

The Return of Eason Jordon

Captain's Quarters:  "Jordan's return proves that anyone shameless enough can push his way back into the national spotlight after destroying his credibility. E&P made itself an unwitting pawn in this manipulative stunt, and it abandoned any sense of journalistic ethics in running this puff piece on a discredited partisan."

Presidential Frontrunners

A new poll reported by the Washington Post shows Hillary Clinton and Rudy Giuliani are leading the pack:

Among Democrats, Clinton leads the field with 39 percent, followed by Obama at 17 percent, Edwards at 12 percent, former vice president Al Gore at 10 percent and Sen. John F. Kerry (Mass.), the party's 2004 nominee, at 7 percent. No other Democrat received more than 2 percent.

...

Among Republicans, Giuliani is favored by 34 percent to McCain's 26 percent. Gingrich is at 12 percent, and outgoing Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney runs fourth at 5 percent.

Meatpacking Plants Raided

Washington Post:

The immigration raids on meatpacking plants in six states were the largest sweep of their kind against a single company and resulted in the arrests of 1,282 suspected illegal immigrants, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said yesterday.

The raids early Tuesday of facilities owned by meatpacking giant Swift & Co., based in Greeley, Colo., were followed by immigration charges against 18 percent of the 7,250 workers scheduled to work the morning shift, Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials said. More than 100 people were charged with crimes that included identity theft, Chertoff said, and that number is expected to grow. Federal and company officials estimated that 30 to 40 percent of Swift's workers had questionable documents.

U.S. officials had identified 331 Swift workers who used false identities, 170 of whom were still employed by the company, before the raid. But without authorities' knowledge, Swift in recent weeks had questioned suspect employees, causing 400 to quit or be fired, according to a federal judge in Amarillo, Tex., who denied a motion by Swift last Thursday to block the raids.

Meatpacking plants were raided in Greeley; Grand Island, Nebraska; Cactus, Texas; Hyrum, Utah; Marshalltown, Iowa; and Worthington, Minnesota.

Corporate Farming Ban Lifted in Nebraska

New York Times:

A federal appeals court lifted a 24-year-old ban restricting corporate ownership of farm and ranch land to family-owned operations, finding that it interfered with interstate commerce and discriminated against farmers and ranchers living outside the state. A group of farmers and ranchers challenged the ban, claiming it prevented them from forming limited-liability partnerships and contracting with out-of-state corporations to keep costs down.

See the chapter on corporate farming laws in Jon Lauck's American Agriculture and the Problem of Monopoly.  The debate over corporate farming, as Jon notes, has occurred for years:

In 1982 Nebraska passed Initiative 300, amending the state constitution to allow only family farm corporations to engage in farming.  In 1983 Jim Hightower, the anticorporate farming activist, was elected agricultural commissioner in Texas.  In 1988 South Dakota toughened its corporate farming law to prevent National Farms from establishing a large-scale livestock operation in the state.  More recently, fourteen counties in Kansas put anticorporate farming laws on the ballot and they passed in twelve.  More than a dozen family farm, religious, and environmental groups have been working to prevent large-scale hog operations from becoming the norm in Iowa.  And in the fall of 1998, the voters of South Dakota approved a constitutional amendment to restrict corporate ownership of farmland. (pp. 20-21)

Thune in Baghdad

Argus Leader:

A congressional delegation including Sen. John Thune, R-S.D., visited Baghdad and told Iraqi leaders "in no uncertain terms" that they must take on more of a leadership role to end the country's continuing sectarian violence, Thune said Wednesday.

Thune, speaking by telephone, said Americans' support for the military's efforts is predicated on the Iraqis stepping up to address their country's political conditions. The U.S. lawmakers delivered the message to Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki and U.S. generals that they need to come up with a plan to stop Sunni Arabs and Shiites from killing each other so the country can be secured, Thune said.

"And we delivered it in no uncertain terms," he said. "We really hammered that home."

Thune is visiting the region as part of a delegation that includes Sens. John McCain, R-Ariz.; Joseph Lieberman, D-Conn.; Lindsey Graham, R-S.C.; Susan Collins, R-Maine; and Rep. Mark Kirk, R-Ill.

Johnson Update

KELOLAND:

Two Democratic sources tell CNN that Senator Tim Johnson was undergoing brain surgery Wednesday night at George Washington University Hospital.

The senator was taken to the hospital Wednesday for stroke-like symptoms, but his Communications Director Julieanne Fischer tells CNN, Johnson did not suffer a stroke or heart attack.

Johnson is still being treated at George Washington University Hospital and will spend the night for more tests.

Little Big State

The fact that Tim Johnson's hospitalization is a national story reminds me of a curious but happy fact, at least from the point of view of a political scientist.  Since I put down roots here in the fall of 1989, my new home has frequently left a large footprint on national politics.  The rise of Senator Daschle to the leadership of the Senate Democrats; his defeat by John Thune and its significance for Republican control in the Senate; and now the fact that the Democratic majority in the Senate depends on Tim Johnson's good health, all of these have brought South Dakota to national attention.  That is well more than our fifteen minutes of fame. 

Scrooge and Virtue 2

Professor Schaff has a kind word and a couple of penetrating questions concerning my post on Dickens's Christmas Carol.  Here is my response:

1. Is philosophical liberalism an adequate account of human good?  If not, with what should it be supplemented?

I am a little bit uncertain how broadly to read the words "philosophical liberalism."  After all, Leo Strauss wrote a book called Liberalism, Ancient and Modern.  In that broadest of senses, philosophical liberalism is a view of human life that takes the free individual as its point of departure.  For the ancients, the free man was first and foremost a free citizen of some city; for the moderns, the free man exists prior to political society and by will brings the latter into being.  Like Strauss, I suppose that the ancient view was superior to the modern view.  Human life is possible only within a politically organized society bound by some view of the common good.  Because modern liberals reject that view, they can give no adequate account of the human good. 

On the second half of the question, I have been deeply influenced by an article entitled "Can We Be Good Without God?" by Nathan Tinder in the Atlantic Monthly.  The article must have been published around 1989, because I used it in my first class at Northern.  Tinder, a neo-Augustinian, argued that the heart of modern liberalism was a sublimated Christianity.  We learned to love the poor and the wretched (more than Aristotle ever did) by reading the Gospel.  I think that Tinder was right in this, and right to worry that as Christianity decays in modern civilization, so will our concern for our less fortunate fellows. 

2. Why has Christmas superseded Easter as the preeminent Christian holiday? 

I think Professor Schaff's answers to this question are on target.  I would only add that my brother and I loved Christmas more than Easter for a very simple reason.  At Easter we got chocolate bunnies.  At Christmas we got bicycles, chemistry sets, and plastic armies of American Soldiers (green plastic) and German soldiers (gray plastic) complete with tanks and artillery pieces.  It was not a close call. 

Senator Johnson

Like my SDP colleagues, I fervently hope that Tim Johnson turns out to be fine.  The last news on the net is that he did not suffer either a heart attack or a stroke, and that sounds encouraging.  So does this summary from the New York Times:

WASHINGTON, Dec. 13 — Senator Tim Johnson, a Democrat from South Dakota, was hospitalized today after what his office at first called a “possible stroke,” leading to concern among Democrats that their new one-vote majority in the Senate could be in danger.

By the end of the day, after what his office called “a comprehensive evaluation by the stroke team” at George Washington University Hospital here, a spokeswoman for Mr. Johnson said that he had not suffered a stroke or a heart attack. The spokeswoman, Julianne Fisher, gave no further details about Mr. Johnson’s medical condition.

His office said that Mr. Johnson, who will turn 60 on Dec. 28, became disoriented during a conference call with reporters at midday. He stuttered, then seemed to recover before asking if there were more questions and then ending the call.

He walked back to his office, where he was examined by the Capitol physician, who decided that Mr. Johnson should be seen at the hospital. He was taken to the hospital by ambulance around noon.

That doesn't sound like a crisis; it sounds like reasonable caution.  But it's not clear that any real news has been released for several hours. 

I met Senator Johnson only once, when he came to campus and graciously agreed to speak to my American Government classes.  On the personal level, I found it very easy to like him.  Professionally, he was open and well-informed when he answered questions from my class. 

The story is national news.  The American News has the AP story.  Every story I have seen, including this one from the Washington Post, has a comment on the political importance of the Senator's health.

The two-term senator's illness -- which sent Senate Democratic leader Harry M. Reid (Nev.) rushing to the hospital to check on Johnson -- underscored the fragility of Democrats' hold on the next Senate, which they won by the narrowest of margins in the Nov. 7 elections. Should Johnson be unable to complete his term, South Dakota's Republican governor, Michael Rounds, would name a replacement for the next two years.

With Johnson in office, Democrats would hold a 51-to-49 edge in the Senate that convenes Jan. 4 as part of the 110th Congress. (The two independents have said they will caucus with the Democrats.) But if he is to leave office before then and Rounds replaces him with a Republican, the GOP would control the chamber.

It would be unfair to blame the press for putting this forward.  The precarious balance in the Senate is part of what makes this a national story.  Nor do I think anyone should read too much into the first paragraph's note about Democratic Leader Harry Reid "rushing to the hospital."  That may "underscore the fragility of Democrats' hold on the next Senate,"  as the post puts it, but only because the Post is drawing lines under its own text.  Reid is simply doing what a leader does.  There is no reason not to point out the obvious implications of the story.

To wish Senator Johnson well just because of those implications would be as bad and wishing him ill for the same reason, only in the opposite direction.  Todd Epp is right, that is not the kind of people we are here in the Rushmore State.

UPDATE: Powerline has this:

Senator Tim Johnson of South Dakota suffered a possible stroke during a phone call with reporters this afternoon, and was taken to George Washington University Hospital.

Should Johnson become disabled, Governor Mike Rounds of South Dakota, a Republican, would name a replacement. If that replacement were a Republican, the Republicans would retain control of the Senate.

Such speculation is highly premature, of course. It is likely that Johnson will be fine. While a Democrat, my impression is that Johnson is a pretty good guy. We wish him the best.

Via Power Line News.

To discuss this story, go here.

 

Last Johnson Post Of The Day

I turned on the TV at the top of the hour to see if there was any news.  Here's what I got. The first two have nothing to do with the Senator. 
1. Do any of the news channels actually have news on at night?
2. Todd is right on.  One gets the impression that Nancy Grace would eat babies on the air if she thought it would get her ratings.  She thinks it's really interesting when people die (yep, I really dig that Henley song). Tonight it was the lost mountain climbers. 
3. On CNN, which actually had some news, the reporter gave us the latest news on Senator Johnson (which sounds worse than expected).  She then said that although it might be "crass and insensitive" there is a political angle to the story because Democratic control of the Senate may hang in the balance.  Now, I understand that CNN probably has to report on the politics, but if something is "crass and insensitive" to say, should you just not say it? 

Here's a news release from South Dakota GOP:

PIERRE – The South Dakota Republican Party joins with all of South Dakota in wishing Sen. Tim Johnson a speedy and full recovery from his recent health complications.

“Our thoughts and prayers are with Sen. Johnson and his family,” said SDGOP Chairman Randy Frederick. “We wish him well and hope that he recovers quickly.”

Johnson Updates

I do not have time to keep abreast of the Tim Johnson news.  Check out SD Watch as Todd seems to be on the case.  SD War College reports that it may not have been a stroke after all.  Has the Senator been eating at Taco John's?   

Update: Woops.  Just saw Jason also linked to Todd.

Last Update:  I swear I am actually trying to get work done.  I see Townhall has linked to us.  Welcome readers. 

BREAKING: Johnson Suffers Stroke *Updates*

Via Matt Drudge:

REPORTS: Sen. Tim Johnson (D, SD) has suffered an 'apparent stroke'... NBC Affiliate WHDH in Boston: 'If he were to die or resign, he could potentially create a tie between Republicans and Democrats in the Senate. That is because South Dakota's governor would be able to appoint a replacement for Johnson and he is likely to be a fellow Republican.' Developing...

More from KELOLAND:

The office of Democratic Senator Tim Johnson says Johnson has suffered a possible stroke.  He's at George Washington University Hospital this afternoon undergoing tests.

His condition isn't being made available at this time.

Congresswoman Stephanie Herseth is asking people to pray for the Johnson family.

South Dakota's secretary of state, Chris Nelson, says if there is a Senate vacancy, Republican Governor Rounds would appoint a replacement who serves until the next general election in 2008. Nelson says as for what creates a vacancy, that's not defined in state law but it might be in federal law.

Our prayers go out to Tim Johnson and his family.  I'm more concerned about his health than the politics behind the stroke, as every news story has reported so far.  I hope the best for him.

UPDATE:  More from Reuters.  In my haste to report the story, I now see Prof. Schaff caught the story before I did.  We'll keep you updated as more developments come forth.

UPDATE II: I agree with my colleague below that talking about replacement is premature and in bad taste.   Let's worry about the man before we worry about the politics.

UPDATE III:  Our colleague Todd Epp has lots of links regarding Senator Johnson's taking ill.  Follow the link and keep scrolling down.

UPDATE IV:  Non-South Dakota blogs are taking notice: Captain's Quarters, Powerline, Michelle Malkin, Talking Points Memo, Real Clear Politics, and The Moderate Voice.  Again, some of these blogs partake in the political speculating, which I noted above is a rather shallow way to look at this.

UPDATE V:  Better news -- doctors have thankfully ruled out the possibility of a stroke but still are not sure what happened.  We all hope he will recover soon and can resume his duties as our Senator.  I would also like to recognize Mr. Epp's thoughtful comments for us and SDWC.  We may have political disagreements, sir, but in a time like this politics has no place.  We thank you for the kind words and share your hope and optimism for Senator Johnson's speedy recovery.

Tim Johnson Suffers Stroke?

This is what I just read at NRO.  Confirmation anyone? If true, naturally we at SDP hope and pray for the best. 

Update: Here is MSNBC, a bit more reliable:

NEW YORK - Sen. Tim Johnson, D-S. D., has been hospitalized with symptoms described as stroke-like.  The seriousness of his illness has not been disclosed.

A statement released by Johnson's office said, "Senator Tim Johnson was taken to George Washington University Hospital this afternoon suffering from a possible stroke. As this stage, he is undergoing a comprehensive evaluation by the stroke team. Further details will be forthcoming when more is known."

NBC News reports the senator became ill while in his Capitol Hill office a little after noon today.  The Capitol physician was called and Johnson was taken by ambulance to the George Washington Univeristy Hospital in D.C. for evaluation.

Update II: Isn't discussion of a replacement a but, um, premature, not to mention in bad taste?

Last Update: I beat Jason by three minutes.  It really is the small things that make life worthwhile. 

Them's Fightin' Words

Iran holds a forum denying the Holocaust.  And these are the reasonable people with whom we should pursue diplomacy?  Maybe if Iran expressed skepticism about global warming.  Then  the enlightened West might take them seriously as a threat. 

Foley Investigation

The Washington Times:

Democratic campaign operatives pushed newspapers to write about then-Rep. Mark Foley's e-mails to teenage pages in the hope that a scandal would emerge before the midterm elections, according to a House ethics report.
    The findings were bolstered when an aide to Rep. Rahm Emanuel, Illinois Democrat, said the congressman also knew about the e-mails, which were dubbed "inappropriate" by the ethics panel. Mr. Emanuel, who was chairman of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee (DCCC) when Mr. Foley's sex scandal broke in late September, had denied knowledge of the Florida Republican's e-mails.
    The House ethics panel, which is formally called the Standards of Official Conduct Committee, Friday released its final probe into Mr. Foley's behavior, scolding Republicans for failing to act on years of troubling signs and naming Democrats who knew about the e-mails.

South American Leftists

While we're on the topic of South American leftists, check out "The Allende Myth" at Chicago Boyz.  Also, The New Republic, a liberal periodical but certainly one of the best political opinion journals out there, had an article in July 2005 about Che Guevara entitled "The Killing Machine: Che Guevara, from communist firebrand to capitalist brand" by Alvaro Vargas Llosa.  Be sure to read that, too.  It'll explain why Guevara is so popular to leftists, which is appalling to me.  I'm not suggesting that these men are popular among Democrats and liberals, but (and I could be wrong) I don't feel the American Left does enough to dispel their popularity. 

UPDATE:  Todd Epp responds to my post. 

Hunt Violated Campaign Finance Laws

Argus Leader:

South Dakota Attorney General Larry Long says Republican Rep. Roger Hunt violated campaign-finance laws by not disclosing the name of the person who donated $750,000 to a group that supported the abortion ban.

Long could negotiate, prosecute or ask a judge to decide whether Hunt must disclose the identity of the donor, whose money was contributed from a mysterious corporation that Hunt operates.

"That disagreement is going to have to be resolved," Long said in an interview.Hunt, a lawyer from Brandon who would not speak at length on the matter, said he's following state laws and will stand his ground.

Pino Noir

Our friend Todd Epp pokes at us a bit over the passing of Augusto Pinochet, former dictator of Chile. 

Unlike some of my brothers in the SoDakBlogOSphere, I am not shedding a tear over the death of Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet.

I think he is referring to Mr. Heppler's post on this topic.  In fact we agree with everything Todd said about Pinochet, and Jason's very dry-eyed post reflects that.  Pinochet was a tyrant and a killer.  It is impossible for a decent person to recognize what he was and admire him at the same time.  The Washington Post editorial on Pinochet, however, was brutally honest in weighing Mr. Pinochet's brutality, and in comparing his legacy with that of Fidel Castro. 

To the dismay of every economic minister in Latin America, [Pinochet] introduced the free-market policies that produced the Chilean economic miracle -- and that not even Allende's socialist successors have dared reverse. He also accepted a transition to democracy, stepping down peacefully in 1990 after losing a referendum.

By way of contrast, Fidel Castro -- Mr. Pinochet's nemesis and a hero to many in Latin America and beyond -- will leave behind an economically ruined and freedomless country with his approaching death. Mr. Castro also killed and exiled thousands. But even when it became obvious that his communist economic system had impoverished his country, he refused to abandon that system: He spent the last years of his rule reversing a partial liberalization. To the end he also imprisoned or persecuted anyone who suggested Cubans could benefit from freedom of speech or the right to vote.

The Washington Post, a great liberal newspaper, is not in the business of making excuses for the likes of Pinochet.  It is merely pointing out one of the ironies of those to the left of that newspaper. American socialists, communists, and other hard leftists have a soft spot for tyrants and mass-murders, so long as they use the right leftist language just before they pull the trigger. 

Let us be honest.  During the cold war, conservatives and anti-communist liberals were too often willing to turn a blind eye to the misdeeds of dictators, so long as the latter opposed Soviet Communism.  It was okay to be a son of a bitch so long as you were our son of a bitch.  But anti-communists never admired such allies.  Conservatives preferred Franco to a People's Republic of Spain, but they never supposed that he represented a shining path to the future.  I never saw a photo of Franco, or Pinochet, or Marcos hung lovingly on any conservative professor's office wall.

I have seen more than few portraits of Lenin, Mao, Ho Chi Minh, and Castro hanging on the walls of leftist professors.  Large portions of the American left fell head over heals in love with one monster after another. 

Paradoxically, what I find most terrifying about Pinochet is precisely that his legacy clearly is admirable, as WaPo points out.  In Niccolo Machiavelli's Prince, and more explicitly in his Discourses, the Florentine philosopher advocates ruthless tyranny precisely for the sake of bringing about strong, prosperous republics.  First get the place in order, and then turn over power to a senate or something like that.  In retrospect, Pinochet looks like a Machiavellian hero.  I wrote my dissertation on Machiavelli, and I was a hostile witness.  I thought, and still think, that Niccolo's voice was the voice of the serpent, leading us down the path toward evil.  Pinochet hardly saves Machiavelli's model.  But it does force us to stop and think, and that is what thinking is all about. 

Scrooged

I wanted to comment on Ken Blanchard's excellent post on Ebenezer Scrooge's virtues.  I don't have time to go into details, but there are profound questions raised by the post.
1. Is philosophical liberalism an adequate account of human good?  If not, with what should it be supplemented?  Like Tocqueville, Ken suggests that Christian virtue has leavened some of liberalism's excesses (e.g., radical individualism).  Leo Strauss once wrote (and I paraphrase), "Because we are friends of liberalism we should not be flatterers of liberalism."  People who like liberal democracy (which is pretty much all of us) need to be aware of its shortcomings and compensate accordingly.
2. Why has Christmas superseded Easter as the preeminent Christian holiday?  While Christmas and Easter cannot really be theologically separated (Easter does not happen without Christmas, of course), it would seem that the events of Easter week are of greater Christian significance than Christmas. Let me suggest three explanations (neither exhaustive nor mutually exclusive):

A. Marketing: In the name of sales, the business sector long ago effectively played up the importance of Christmas through mass advertising.  Example: Our depiction of Santa Claus is straight from a Coca Cola ad. 

B. It is inherently more materially attractive to get a tangible train set on Christmas than intangible salvation on Easter. In short, a secular materialist people should value Christmas more than Easter.

C. In an age when the popular religious doctrine can be summed up as "it's nice to be nice to the nice" Christmas, with its emphasis on giving, gains more religious currency than Easter.  If our salvation is based solely on doing good deeds, then the preeminence of Christmas as a religious holiday makes sense.  Of course it is good to be charitable.  But those charitable deeds, separated from the Cross and done without Christian love, are empty.  Faith without works is dead, and works without faith are dead. 

Herseth's Clout?

The Hill reports that Stephanie Herseth urged her colleagues to support Mike Michaud for Veterans Committee chairman rather than Bob Filner, but Michaud got smoked, receiving only 69 votes to Filner's 112:

Michaud, a member of the Blue Dog Coalition of conservative Democrats, received support from fellow Blue Dogs. While the Blue Dogs formally supported Rep. Jane Harman (D-Calif.) to remain chairwoman of the House Intelligence Committee, the group did not endorse Michaud.

Rep. Stephanie Herseth (D-S.D.), a co-chairperson of the Blue Dog Coalition who also serves on the panel, and Rep.-elect Phil Hare (D-Ill.), encouraged their colleagues to vote for Michaud. Hare had been Evans's district director.

Rep. Luis Gutierrez (D-Ill.), who will be the second ranking Democrat on the Veterans' Affairs Committee, and Rep. Barbara Lee (D-Calif.), spoke on Filner's behalf.

Filner prevailed in a 112-69 vote and moved quickly to reassure leading veterans groups —Vietnam Veterans of America, Paralyzed Veterans of America, Disabled Veterans of America, Veterans of Foreign Wars, and others – pledging to work closely with them, said a participant who attended the meeting in Filner's office.

Mamoud Ahmadinejad

Paul Mirengoff:

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on Tuesday told delegates at an international conference questioning the Holocaust that Israel's days were numbered. James Baker's would-be negotiating partner said that "just as the Soviet Union was wiped out and today does not exist, so will the Zionist regime soon be wiped out." The Soviet Union wasn't wiped out, of course; it dissolved. I don't think that's what Ahmadinejad has in mind for Israel.

Top Tens

Extreme Mortman has the Top Ten Funniest Political Moments of 2006 and the Top Ten Funniest Political Quotes of 2006.  Check them out.

Clueless on Terrorism

Ed Morrissey: "Has [Silvestre] Reyes actually attended intel committee hearings over the last few years? Has he read newspapers? People talk about George Bush being out of touch, but this should send genuine fear into the American electorate. How, [Jeff] Stein asks, can Reyes exercise effective oversight on American intelligence when he has so little understanding of our enemies and of the chief battlegrounds in the war on terror?"

Commemorating a Murderer

New York Daily News:

These days, Joanne Chesimard is known as Assata Shakur, but she's had dozens of other aliases in a life on the run.

She now lives in Cuba, a guest of dictator Fidel Castro, and carries a $1 million price tag for her capture and return to prison in the U.S.

She's a convicted cop killer who left behind a lifetime of pain for the family of New Jersey State Trooper Werner Foerster.

But in at least one corner of City College, Chesimard is a hero, honored and remembered.

Her latest alias enshrines the Guillermo Morales/Assata Shakur Community Center at the City University of New York's flagship campus.

It's a punch to the gut that has furious police groups demanding the publicly funded institution strip away the Black Liberation Army militant's name.

Read the whole story.

State Legislator Makes Threats

Argus Leader:

Maybe there's nothing wrong with letting county jail inmates get married.

And maybe there is. It's at least worth considering for a debate.

But there's everything wrong with the way Rich Engels is acting.

Engels, a former state representative who won election Nov. 7 and will return to the Legislature in January, represents two inmates at the Minnehaha County Jail. They'd planned to get married before they were arrested on theft and drug charges. Because they can't afford bail, they're likely to remain in their cells until they reach plea bargains, when they'll be sent off to different prisons.

So they want to get married in jail.

"This is really the only opportunity for them to get married," Engels said.

Sheriff Mike Milstead said he won't allow it. The jail is a short-term facility, he said, unlike the state prison, which allows weddings regularly.

"I wouldn't plan on it happening while they're in my custody," Milstead said.

And that's where it would stand, if Engels hadn't gone further - off a cliff. In talking with Deputy State's Attorney Gordy Swanson, Engels threatened that the county would get little cooperation from him - as a state legislator - unless the wedding was allowed.

And then Engels promised to sponsor legislation forcing jail administrators to allow marriages.

Engels now says he regrets his comments to Swanson. "Certainly, I'm going to work with the county on their priorities," he said.

But, apparently, he plans to go ahead with the legislation.

Engels should know better. Frustrated and angry or not, there's no excuse for making threats. If this is how he reacts to being told "no," he's going to have a miserable time as a legislator.

And he ought to rethink his legislative priorities. Weddings for jail inmates shouldn't be one of them.

This was wrong-headed from beginning to end.

Rape Trial Begins

The rape trial of two SDSU basketball players begins today in Brookings:

The trial of a former South Dakota State University basketball player who is accused of rape begins today with a variety of student athletes expected to take the stand as witnesses.

Andre Gilbert of Brooklyn Park, Minn., is charged with first-degree burglary and second- and third-degree rape in connection with an assault that allegedly occurred in a dorm room on the school's Brookings campus Dec. 15, 2005.

All three charges are felonies.

If convicted, Gilbert could face 25 years in prison, $25,000 in fines or both.

Another former SDSU basketball player, Mohamed Berte of Ivory Coast, is charged in the same alleged incident with two counts of aiding and abetting Gilbert.

Berte also was charged with first-degree burglary and a misdemeanor count of sexual contact with a person capable of consenting who did not. His trial is scheduled to start in late January.

Both men pleaded not guilty and are free on bond. They were suspended from the basketball team. Gilbert returned to Minnesota while Berte remained on campus.

Honoring Virginia Hall

Associated Press:

In 1942, the Gestapo circulated posters offering a reward for the capture of "the woman with a limp. She is the most dangerous of all Allied spies and we must find and destroy her."

The dangerous woman was Virginia Hall, a Baltimore native working in France for British intelligence, and the limp was the result of an artificial leg. Her left leg had been amputated below the knee about a decade earlier after she stumbled and blasted her foot with a shotgun while hunting in Turkey.

The injury derailed Hall's dream of becoming a Foreign Service officer because the State Department wouldn't hire amputees, but it didn't prevent her from becoming one of the most celebrated spies of World War II.

On Tuesday, the French and British ambassadors plan to honor Hall, who died in 1982 at age 78, at a ceremony at the home of French Ambassador Jean-David Levitte in Washington.

Pinochet v. Castro

The Washington Post editorializes:

It's hard not to notice, however, that the evil dictator leaves behind the most successful country in Latin America. In the past 15 years, Chile's economy has grown at twice the regional average, and its poverty rate has been halved. It's leaving behind the developing world, where all of its neighbors remain mired. It also has a vibrant democracy. Earlier this year it elected another socialist president, Michelle Bachelet, who suffered persecution during the Pinochet years.

Like it or not, Mr. Pinochet had something to do with this success. To the dismay of every economic minister in Latin America, he introduced the free-market policies that produced the Chilean economic miracle -- and that not even Allende's socialist successors have dared reverse. He also accepted a transition to democracy, stepping down peacefully in 1990 after losing a referendum.

By way of contrast, Fidel Castro -- Mr. Pinochet's nemesis and a hero to many in Latin America and beyond -- will leave behind an economically ruined and freedomless country with his approaching death. Mr. Castro also killed and exiled thousands. But even when it became obvious that his communist economic system had impoverished his country, he refused to abandon that system: He spent the last years of his rule reversing a partial liberalization. To the end he also imprisoned or persecuted anyone who suggested Cubans could benefit from freedom of speech or the right to vote.

Yes, and another contrast -- as Professor Reynolds notes -- is you can find apologists for the likes of Fidel Castro and Che Guevara on many university campuses across the nation.  Pinochet, not so much.  Still, there are no tears shed here for Pinochet.  Despite the market-based gains the Washington Post notes, the man was still a bloody, repressive dictator and it's a shame the Nixon administration welcomed Pinochet's coup.  The world is better without him.

UPDATE:  Sioux Falls blogger Jay Reding has more on "The Pinochet Legacy."  It also appears that some people on the Left are trying to argue that the Right is praising Pinochet's market-economy gains and ignoring his bloody reign.  If this is happening, then it needs to stop.  The only celebration we need is that the man is gone for good.  The state of an economy should be no way to judge a man who killed thousands.  As David Frum writes:

[I]t is certainly strange to see those ideological corners that once bitterly denounced Pinochet now bitterly denouncing the idea that the US has any stake in the promotion of democracy beyond its borders.

But the fact that liberals cannot keep their lines straight is no excuse for fluffing ours on the right. Pinochet was one of the very worst tyrants in modern South American history. Perhaps only the Argentine generals of the 1970s were worse. If the US had any role in his coup or in prolonging his 16-year dictatorship, that role should be a source of national self-criticism and self-reproach.

UPDATE:  The Chilean government has refused to offer Pinochet a state funeral.  Good for them.  He doesn't deserve the honor.

Supersized Condoms on the Subcontinent

With the preceding post in mind, I note this story, from the Times of India, under the revealing title "Indian Men Don't Measure Up": 

MUMBAI: Scientists at the country's premier medical research institute have just concluded an extensive two-year study of the penis sizes of Indian men. In the next few months, they will recommend condom sizes that are right for the Indian population so as to reduce the rate of failure.  The data is still being collated and analysed by the Indian Council of Medical Research (ICMR), but preliminary findings indicate that condoms available in the market are oversized.

Which raises the obvious question: who were the condoms designed to fit?  Surely not the English.  At any rate, I think that the Indian Council of Medial Research needs to hire a political scientist, and fast.  I would be available.  Consider this:

The inter-city study drew much interest at the recently-concluded Asia-Pacific Conference of the Society of Sexual Medicine in Mumbai (even as the Germans are about to launch spray-on, fit-for-all-sizes condoms).  An international delegate at the conference pointed out that if the study made geographical distinctions in sizes, it may cause discomfort among men in different regions.

Well, duh.  Here is what worries me.  Did the study include any Pakistanis?  If not, Pakistan will be claiming in short order that Indian condoms fit their guys just fine, thank you, and that could lead to the world's first nuclear exchange. 

Humor is the only way out of this one. 

The real concern is that "making condoms of different sizes may not be practical unless there is a large demand."And will there be takers for the smaller-sized condoms? Well, that could be a topic for another psycho-socio study.

The solution is obvious.  Put the smaller condoms in packages labeled "large."  And in Mumbai, add the note "Pakistani men choose one size smaller."  They will be snapped up faster than telemarketing jobs. 

A Sexually Inequitable Distribution of Humor?

Christopher Hitchens is our H. L. Mencken, a learned and acerbic wit who is irreverent not only with respect to reverence, where it doesn't really count anymore, but with regard to secular pieties, where it counts more than ever.  In a Vanity Fair piece, he sets out to explain the following phenomenon:

Be your gender what it may, you will certainly have heard the following from a female friend who is enumerating the charms of a new (male) squeeze: "He's really quite cute, and he's kind to my friends, and he knows all kinds of stuff, and he's so funny … " (If you yourself are a guy, and you know the man in question, you will often have said to yourself, "Funny? He wouldn't know a joke if it came served on a bed of lettuce with sauce béarnaise.") However, there is something that you absolutely never hear from a male friend who is hymning his latest (female) love interest: "She's a real honey, has a life of her own … [interlude for attributes that are none of your business] … and, man, does she ever make 'em laugh."

Now, why is this? Why is it the case?, I mean. Why are women, who have the whole male world at their mercy, not funny? Please do not pretend not to know what I am talking about.

Dangerous as it may be to agree with Hitchens, it's not easy to think of something that women laugh at but men do not, whereas one can go on for pages listing things that are funny mostly to men. 

Male humor prefers the laugh to be at someone's expense, and understands that life is quite possibly a joke to begin with—and often a joke in extremely poor taste. Humor is part of the armor-plate with which to resist what is already farcical enough.   . . . Whereas women, bless their tender hearts, would prefer that life be fair, and even sweet, rather than the sordid mess it actually is. Jokes about calamitous visits to the doctor or the shrink or the bathroom, or the venting of sexual frustration on furry domestic animals, are a male province. It must have been a man who originated the phrase "funny like a heart attack." In all the millions of cartoons that feature a patient listening glum-faced to a physician ("There's no cure. There isn't even a race for a cure"), do you remember even one where the patient is a woman? I thought as much.

Hitchens offers a lot of explanations, some turning on biology.  I will offer my own.  Men frequently express affection for one another by insulting one another.  At a grad school softball game, two of my friends were arguing over a call.  "I was safe!  You were out!  I was safe, damn it!"  From second base I called out "You were ugly!"  As the laughter died down, Bill Flannery said: "That may be, but I was still safe."  The tension had drained away.  Mutual, humerous deprecation functions to short circuit blood lust, and keep things friendly.  In all cultures and across the many species, males kill one another a lot more than females ever do.  But that, too, is funny, at least to men.